What not to do at the office party

Be remembered for the right reasons this Christmas.

Christmas is here! You are no doubt planning to dazzle your colleagues at the office party with your debonair charm, infectious smile and witty observations - so much so that your bosses will fall over themselves to give you a promotion or pay rise.

That's all good, but make sure you are remembered for the right reasons.

If you go too far at the office party, it could have the opposite effect on your reputation and even your career.

Real life horror stories

Take these real-life examples. A large financial publishing company threw a terrific party at the world famous Madame Tussaud's in London - that's the one with the waxwork dummies of famous people if you don't know it.

It seemed like a great idea until later in the evening, when one employee thought it would be hilarious to turn all four of the Beatles’ heads to face backwards. Suffice it to say, she was turning everyone's heads next day in the office for all the wrong reasons.

Another overexcited partygoer was pictured on her knees simulating a Monica Lewinsky-style act with Bill Clinton. She also had to do a red faced walk of shame to her desk the next morning and was remembered for it well after that.

What not to do?

Senior commercial consultant of recruitment firm Carlton Resource Solutions, Alan Patterson, has offered some tips to make sure that you stay on the right side of your coworkers and still have a job come the New Year!

Please drink. Responsibly.

‘First and foremost,’ said Patterson ‘don’t drink too much. This is possibly the most solicited piece of advice ever, but also still the most ignored. Relax and enjoy a few drinks, but don’t go overboard.’ If you do, you’ll forget all the other sage advice that follows…

It’s what Britney was wearing in Heat last week…

The Christmas party can be the place to flaunt your favourite party outfit and a little of your individuality. Make sure that’s all you show off. New shoes? Great! Little black dress? Lovely. Neon boob tube and micro-mini? Hmm… ‘Always ensure you wear something appropriate,’ Patterson said. ‘Think about the potential for embarrassing wardrobe malfunctions. Sensible doesn’t have to mean boring.’

That’s nothing. Watch this!

Any party piece that involves a random object and any swallowing/ingesting/stuffing said item up your nose should be avoided, cautioned Patterson. ‘Keep those delights for your close friends. The chances are they have already seen you at your worst and are used to it.’ And no, the boss’s wife most definitely does not want to see your ‘elephant impersonation’.

Voice of an angel

Even if your friends and family tell you that you should be a pop star, just remember all the delusional contestants on The X Factor who say the same thing. ‘If there is karaoke, the choice is simple – don’t do it! If you are terrible, the memory will make you cringe for weeks afterwards. If you are good, you risk looking like a poser,’ warned Patterson. 

Like father, Like son

Remember how embarrassing it is whenever your dad gets up and dances? Well don’t risk emulating him. ‘By all means get up and join in, but make sure you don’t engage in a no-holds barred dance-off with the finance director,’ Patterson said. ‘Somebody is bound to record your exertions for posterity, or YouTube.’

The boss's daughter…

‘The office party is not the place for embarking on a new love affair with the handsome office Romeo,’ continued Patterson. ‘It’s best to play it safe, and reassess the situation in the cold light of the day.’ And guys – just so you know, the boss’s daughter is absolutely, positively, categorically off-limits.
 
‘Following these words of caution should not only ensure you don’t dread going into work after the holidays, but also that you still have a job to go back to.’

December 2007

Back to Insight front page